every morning i always thinks about doing this...


and then i listen the song by Louis Armstrong... What a Wonderful World:

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I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.
---------------------etc--------------------------------------

And then I think I'm just a coward, i can't face the reality in this world, my problems, my problems with dosen, dekan PA, my friends...

but what if I die, the world don't change at all, they won't notice me anyway...
but what about the people who love me..I hope they are all here. i need their support, i feel so lonely and feel so stupid..and useless... my brain cannot accept any knowledge.. but maybe it's all only in my head...

I still think of doing that thing every morning...
anyone want to forbid me?